Golf Ipsum

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Phoenix

Begin the front nine holes, Phil Mickelson Get thrown off the course Fluffy lie Tee off Act your age and not like a pro. Jigger Good rhythm And getting annoyed That's a gimme. Your ball hits the Captain, While heckling your opponent.

Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Making a lot of noise Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Score a par And good luck! And getting annoyed Win the Green Jacket Score a bogey Score an albatross Good break! Top your tee shot.

Take a mulligan, Swing quickly, Begin the front nine holes, Struck by lightning Score an albatross Looking for a new angle of attack At St. Andrews, And swing.

Lose your putter, forced to go home. To distract your opponent Niblick Phoenix That's a big hook For packing in golf Ostrich Duck hook! Open clubface That's a big hook Swing quickly, Time to buy some new clubs Waggle your hips and swing.

That's a big slice The 19th Hole. You got the yips To buy a drink for Using your putter to plumb-bob, Jack Nicklaus Brassie Score an eagle Begin the front nine holes, Texas Wedge Score a birdie And good luck! Long irons Losing your ball in the rough, Jigger Feeling happy now, Carrying your clubs Lose your putter, forced to go home. Long irons Run down the fairway shouting You deserve a mulligan. And shank it. Pitching Wedge.