Golf Ipsum

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Chip in

Score an albatross Pretend nothing just happened and smile. 3-iron comes out, That's a big hook A scratch golfer, Brassie You deserve a mulligan. To buy a drink for Condor Time to buy some new clubs Duck hook! Begin the front nine holes, Pitching Wedge Fried egg Dancing on the practise ground. While heckling your opponent, Steady footwork And good luck! While heckling your opponent, Taking a practise swing, That's a big slice Pitching Wedge Out of anger Duck hook! Act your age and not like a pro. Completely missed the ball, oops! Completely missed the ball, oops! Carrying your clubs.

3-iron comes out, A gentle fade Good rhythm Rub of the green Texas Wedge Tiger Woods Run down the fairway shouting.

Thinking your at Sunningdale And getting annoyed Shouting Fore as loud as you can. "Get in the hole!" Score a bogey Rub of the green Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Get a new Sand Iron Pull out the driver and.... A controlled draw And shank it. Jack Nicklaus Hole in One! At the Clubhouse, Win the Green Jacket Arnold Palmer.

Aiming for the groundsman At Augusta National Tearing up a scorecard Pull out the driver and.... Cheating on the next hole Score an albatross Lose your putter, forced to go home. Run down the fairway shouting Open stance.

Cleek Long irons Cleek Carrying your clubs Niblick At the Clubhouse, Spoon Score a birdie Jack Nicklaus Pulled to the left Jack Nicklaus Good rhythm Swing quickly, Pitching Wedge Cheating on the next hole Fried egg Arnold Palmer The 19th Hole. And your caddie gets cross. You need more lessons! Jack Nicklaus And snap your club in half. Act your age and not like a pro. Top your tee shot, That's a big slice Looking for a new angle of attack Gary Player Score a par.