Golf Ipsum

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Better luck next time!

Hit it as hard as you can Get a new Sand Iron Pitching Wedge And good luck! Get thrown off the course Taking a practise swing, Pitch and run That's a floater. Long irons While drinking beer Looking for a new angle of attack.

Making a lot of noise Use your Lob Wedge Score a bogey Win the Green Jacket A scratch golfer, Tearing up a scorecard Good rhythm Out of anger To distract your opponent Taking a practise swing, Get your 5 wood.

Pull out the driver and.... Out of anger Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, At the Clubhouse, Score an eagle Chip and run Pushed to the right And good luck! Open clubface Chip in Pretend nothing just happened and smile. For packing in golf That's a big hook And snap your club in half. Lose your putter, forced to go home. Reading the green, Fried egg And good luck! Top your tee shot, And snap your club in half. Get thrown off the course While drinking beer Start your backswing, take it slow.

You deserve a mulligan. Plugged lie in the bunker And shank it. Using your putter to plumb-bob, Score an albatross And lose your mind, Completely missed the ball, oops! Get thrown off the course Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Score an albatross A gentle fade Phil Mickelson Chip and run Mind where the divot lands! Pushed to the right Dancing on the practise ground. Tee off Ostrich And good luck! Completely missed the ball, oops! For packing in golf.

Arnold Palmer Swear at the Captain and get banned. Cleek Open clubface Rub of the green Swing quickly, Weak grip Score a par Out of frustration Take a mulligan, Better luck next time! Run down the fairway shouting You deserve a mulligan. Reading the green, Jack Nicklaus Mind where the divot lands!