Golf Ipsum

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Dancing on the practise ground

You skied it! Take a mulligan, Rub of the green Use your Lob Wedge Open clubface Score an eagle That's a big hook Jigger At St. Andrews, Pushed to the right To buy a drink for You got the yips Good break! Making a lot of noise Tearing up a scorecard Ostrich Duck hook! Niblick Spoon That's a gimme. Spoon Begin the front nine holes.

Weak grip A controlled draw Jigger Pull out the driver and.... Get your 5 wood Gary Player You got the yips Get thrown off the course Texas Wedge Act your age and not like a pro. Look out a ball is coming straight for you! And lose your mind, Losing your ball in the rough, For getting banned from the course. Run down the fairway shouting Mind where the divot lands! Pushed to the right "Get in the hole!" And snap your club in half. Your ball hits the Captain, At Augusta National Splash shot Reading the green.

Feeling happy now, Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Begin the back nine holes, Pitch and run Start your backswing, take it slow. Pitching Wedge Jigger A scratch golfer, Jack Nicklaus Tiger Woods Tee off Good break! 3-iron comes out, Cleek And good luck! Plugged lie in the bunker Aiming for the groundsman Your ball hits the Captain.

Top your tee shot, Tee off Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Taking a practise swing, Run down the fairway shouting Swing quickly, Texas Wedge.

At Augusta National "Get in the hole!" Cheating on the next hole Waggle your hips and swing Swear at the Captain and get banned. Top your tee shot, Mind where the divot lands! Looking for a new angle of attack And getting annoyed At the Clubhouse, Brassie Using your putter to plumb-bob, 3-iron comes out, Time to buy some new clubs Run down the fairway shouting.