Golf Ipsum

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Get a new Sand Iron

Aiming for the groundsman Score a birdie You skied it! Tearing up a scorecard Your ball hits the Captain.

Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Good rhythm Mashie A controlled draw At St. Andrews, Spoon Pitch and run.

Lose your putter, forced to go home. Roll around on the ground laughing, Short irons Splash shot Tiger Woods Use your Lob Wedge Run down the fairway shouting Get thrown off the course Fluffy lie Roll around on the ground laughing, Pull out the driver and.... Thinking your at Sunningdale Get a new Sand Iron Win the Green Jacket Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Better luck next time! Dancing on the practise ground. Out of anger While drinking beer Begin the front nine holes, Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Tom Watson.

Duck hook! A scratch golfer, Pull out the driver and.... Reading the green, The 19th Hole. Looking for a new angle of attack Score a par Begin the front nine holes, Brassie Open stance Score a birdie Visit the golf range, Top your tee shot, Good rhythm Start your backswing, take it slow. Chip in Score an albatross Take a mulligan, That's a floater. And swing. Ostrich Gary Player And your caddie gets cross. Splash shot.

Get a new Sand Iron Good break! Pull out the driver and.... For getting banned from the course. Start your backswing, take it slow. Begin the front nine holes, While drinking beer Pushed to the right Losing your ball in the rough, Swear at the Captain and get banned. Good rhythm Weak grip Pitch and run While drinking beer Begin the back nine holes, Pushed to the right Get thrown off the course Get thrown off the course "Get in the hole!" And good luck! Making a lot of noise Score a bogey Making a lot of noise Mind where the divot lands! Spoon.